This post, a “Journal Entry” goes in the same section as “Random Thoughts”. To me, they’re interchangeable at least in the sense that I’m trying to write one of these every day and I don’t care which kind of post I write. They only difference between them is that I will have at least one specific thing to talk about in a “Journal Entries”. They’re both still written in the same way; haphazardly and with expression, but they’re different enough to have different titles.
Anyway, the topic I wanna go over is basically to give an update on my secret twitter account. I made a post a while back talking about a Twitter account I started that is separate from my normal twitter. When I first made the account, in January of 2020, I didn’t have any goal in mind. All I knew was that I wanted the posts on it to be more expressive, personal, and intentional than a normal account. I posted like 300 times in 2020 and I spent time on each one, getting it the way I wanted with the character limits, saying what I wanted to say without having to worry about being too “out there” for people.
I think we can all relate to the idea that our Facebooks have more of PR app feeling. I don’t remember when it stopped being a place where you just posted what you were thinking at the time. Twitter’s original purpose, at least to me, was more focused on that type of expression. You just type whatever you feel like you want to say at the time, and hit send. Twitter feels less like PR to me. Don’t get me wrong, Twitter has its own issues, but on Facebook, everything I say can be seen by everyone I know. It’s exhausting having to stop and consider how each person I’ve met in my life might think about it. Usually, I don’t think about that too much but every now and then I’ll have something more meaningful I want to say. I’ll even type the whole thing out; sometimes hundreds of words and then I’ll not post it. I have a Google Doc titled, “Self Censorship”.
People don’t really want to hear about Genocides in China, that dark parts of the American Education System, the sociological, spiritual, and human-essence-exploration implications of Ted Cruz, Disney’s parallels with Companies that did business with the Nazis, angry rants, etc. I mean, they might be down for it but when everyone you’ve ever met is sitting in a room listening it becomes very difficult to express yourself without triggering someone’s bullshit reasons to freak out.
I don’t need to go over why I made the account again. That’s probably what I did in my last post about it. The point of this post is to say that I’m gonna be starting to take it more seriously now. I’ve been neglecting it alot over the last year, mostly because I had some powerful, universal, and much more personal psychological puzzles to work through. I feel like that task has been accomplished, at least accomplished enough for me to be proud of myself and move on. As those powerful tangles of emotional fog clear I can turn my focus to other things. My secret twitter account is absolutely one of those things. I’m legitimately proud of it. It completely misses the mark when it comes to “succeeding” in the Twitter sense, I have like 7 followers who don’t actually read the posts, or if they do they don’t reply. But, from the start I knew that I didn’t care about those things. I was gonna use the App called Twitter however I wanted to with zero care put towards “playing the game”, so to speak.
So, I’m gonna focus on it more, take it more seriously, be more exploratory with it. I’m not interested in convincing people that what I’m writing is some obscure form of modern poetry but… in some ways that’s what I’m doing. From now on, instead of trying to keep it to a certain type of post, like philosophical quotes, emotion description, or things like that I’m gonna be more free form. If I want to add rhyming structures, I will. If I feel like writing in Iambic Pentameter, I will. If I wanna make a joke, I will. Poetry isn’t about those things, it’s about truth, people just need those things because the Truth is too simple for them. To be clear, I’ll probably never add rhyming to my posts, I’m a vernacular man, through and through, but I don’t care about how anything looks anymore.
I know I haven’t posted here on this blog what that twitter account is called or where you can follow it. I don’t plan to right now. Maybe I could in the future but I think that the more likely outcome is that I end up collecting all, or most, of the posts together and putting them into a more “Book of Poetry” type format; then presenting that as the product.
Here’s one “poem” for you; just to show one I guess. I have it formatted on this physical paper journal I wrote it in and, knowing how stupid WordPress is, I’ll probably be unable to get each part in the right place. Please don’t try to talk to me about how my poem is amateurish or boring or whatever. Avoiding those things is irrelevant.
What is to be done with this?
f this immense blanket weight of
f Connection.
f What are we, our generation, supposed to make out of this?
We do the same thing we’ve always done, we start Exploring.
f You know, stumble around a little
f Like fools
The Mind of Joshypoo 