Right now I’m drinking kombucha and I’m a little confused. Basically I’m drinking a whole ecosystem of “cultures” and while I may not know what “cultures” means exactly it is obviously an odd idea. People don’t usually eat stuff that’s alive. I’m not saying I have some sort of ethical issue with turning myself into a real life Sarlacc Pit that eats and slowly digests living things. I have enough to feel sad about in this world already I don’t think developing emotional connections to “cultures” would be a very healthy choice. The reason I bring it up I guess is because it makes me think about a movie that came out a while back. Osmosis Jones is not a very good movie but it’s concept is one that I think is really interesting. If you look at the “culture” in the way that movie looks at the cells of the body than what anyone who drinks kombucha is doing is a pretty dark action.
I spent alot of time as a youth feeling bad for inanimate objects that I felt weren’t fulfilling their purpose. I’m sure things like Toy Story is partially to blame for this. It wasn’t like I was compulsive about making sure these things were happy. I knew they weren’t real but for some reason my brain wanted them to at least do what they were meant to do. If my closet door stood ajar for a couple weeks I might close it one day just to let it have some variety. Maybe I was trying to give myself variety but that wasn’t the conscious thought process. I think it should be obvious to anyone reading these posts that I am not a normal person. That isn’t a brag and it might not even be something anyone should brag about if they wanted to but I’m pretty sure I have some abnormal stuff going on.
I still am hitting the space bar about 10 times to get these indents on every “block”. I know that there might be some sort of advanced setting in the website that lets me set a preference but I don’t care enough to find it. Sometimes I wonder if I really just don’t care or if it is another reason all together. Lets set up the problem and then my reaction and then theorize about why that reaction might come to be. First the problem; this website does not obviously allow me to set paragraphs to automatically set indents. My solution to that problem is a short one time look at the advanced control section. I found that rather than having an option to indent the website actually doesn’t even have paragraphs. They have “blocks”. Don’t ask me why because I don’t really know. Anyway, after this first look my brain quickly comes up with the obvious solution to the problem of just hitting the space bar before every “block” thereby giving the appearance of paragraphs and I have been using that method for this first month of the blog. I also had to measure out how many spaces I needed for it to look like a legit indent. I know on Word programs 5 spaces seemed to work, or at least it did the last time I used Word regularly when I was in high school more than 10 years ago. That’s not really an important point in this analysis but I figured I’d say it anyway since I can.
Now lets try and think of some reasons why I haven’t done any more extensive research on the problem to actually definitively find out if there is or is not a solution built into the software of WordPress.
Option 1: This is the simplest option. It’s not like hitting the space bar is hard at all. To be honest it’s actually kind of an enjoyable little ritual I do every time I start a new paragraph. It’s a small reset like a typewriter dinging and sliding it back over to the right. I’ve let the failure of WordPress translate into a positive little moment that I like for no reason other than it is my own. Why try and find some other solution when the one I have is perfectly fine? Maybe that’s a bad mentality for life and it has led to me being very pathetic about things being mildly inconvenient. On the other hand, learning to put up and embrace minor inconveniences is a powerful skill for someone to have and more people should do it. Either way, lets move to Option 2.
Option 2: Looking around in the advanced controls section constitutes work and labor. Additional to it just being a chore it also means I have to interact with the advanced features of electronics and I gotta say I hate electronics and how complicated they are. Let’s just say I have an incredibly high appreciation for simple, natural, and ergonomic, systems and interfaces. I understand the difficulty of designing quality interface systems but oh my god does it make a big difference. I’ve never more angry than I have been at electronics not doing the things they are supposed to do. I just want the god damn phone to send the god damn text message and when it starts freaking out and doing shit I don’t want I get pissed off at it. Maybe I get extra pissed off at it simply because it is inanimate and I’m not hurting anybody’s feelings when I yell at it. To get back on topic Option 2 is that I’m too lazy to deal with looking around and doing research.
Option 3: My stubbornness makes me apathetic to anything that is in the wrong place. I’ll try and explain better. If the people who make the WordPress are willing to make the choice to forgo indentation and paragraphs then fuck them. This is not a part of me that I typically think of fondly but it is there regardless of how it makes me feel. I’m not gonna do some extra work if you are gonna be crazy enough to not have paragraphs in your flipping typing software. Even if you have the option for automatic indentation, which I don’t think you do since I went through the setting at the beginning, I don’t care about it if you don’t. Indentation should be right there with all the other format control systems. This software doesn’t even really have alot of format control options on the page where you do any typing. Maybe there are alot of them on the main page website control systems but why would anyone put indentation in the website controls and not in the flippin’ typing controls? I’ll solve it my own way thank you very much.
Option 4: This is the option that might be least likely but at the same time it is also the option that scares me the most and the option I think about the most whenever these problems come up in life. I didn’t really mean to tease you with what option 4 is by making you afraid of it before telling you what it is but if the only way I can add suspense is on accident then I’m all for it. Option 4 is that I’m afraid. Either I’m afraid that there is an easy indentation control option and I missed it like an idiot for a whole month or I’m afraid that to confirm that this software really doesn’t recognize the existence and importance of paragraphs. Option 4 is sadly a universal possibility in everything I do. I think alot about why I do anything and there are as many negative reasons to things as there are positive and my intrinsic cowardice leads me to always be afraid that I’m holding myself back out of some sort of misguided fear.
Every time I write out the word “alot” the software puts a little red squiggly line underneath it to let me know that I misspelled it. I don’t care! I like to write out “alot” as “alot” instead of “a lot” and I don’t see any reason to change. Hold on. Ok, I added “alot” to my personal dictionary so that WordPress, on my account, will think that “alot” is a correct spelling of something. Suck it world. Suck it Webster. Your dictionary is irrelevant before the might of my ignorance and stupidity. How do ya like that?
I only did 7 spaces on the indentation of that last paragraph. I think I just started hitting the space button a whole bunch while counting to 10. It’s like how little kids will point at things while they count but their counting out loud will be at a completely different speed than the way their finger is moving so they count out loud to 10 when they only pointed at 7 objects. The idea that matching physical movements with the rhythm of counting out loud is not a natural thing for the human brain to do is really weird. It makes all the sense in the world that when you count you should keep track of the things you are counting rather than just spewing out ascending numbers at any random speed while you point at things. Like, they don’t even realize when they point at something more than once. What else is going on that seems obvious to me but really isn’t? Probably a whole shit load of things. Maybe even 99% of things. Is it natural to pee in one place every time? Is it natural to care about using the right restroom?
Every year teaching pre-school I’d have one or two kids that would try and use a toilet at the same time as another kid. The two kids would stand off-center on either side of the toilet and they’d both use it at the same time like it was a totally normal and intelligent thing to do. While I always thought it was funny I would always have to tell them to not do it. I’d have to tell them that walking up to another kid using a urinal and looking at them going to the bathroom was something to not do. To them, they were just checking to see if the other kid was going to the restroom. Doesn’t it make sense that if you are waiting for someone else to finish doing something you should watch them do it? When you stop at a red light you look at the traffic light to see when to go. You don’t just stare at the car next to you to wait for him to go. Why add another layer of waiting when you can just just look right at the traffic light and know immediately when the wait is over? It even makes way more sense for people to use the toilets at the same time. The toilets were originally installed for adults so they aren’t small. It’s like trough urinals versus everyone using single toilets to pee. If we can get two kids to be finished peeing in half the time and using half the water than why would they wait? We tell them to. I always thought it made more sense from a practical standpoint but at the same time I would always tell them to stop. You have to wait until the other kid completely leaves the stall before you walk in. You can’t just stand right behind someone when they are using the restroom. It would always get me thinking about what other stuff is learned versus natural. I would apply that question to all sorts of other things. Is there a real reason to wear clothes? Yes, obviously there is. It keeps us warm and keeps the things around us from being made dirty with the oils our bodies naturally excrete. Is there a reason to hate my fellow man? I don’t know.
That paragraph escalated pretty quick there at the end. That’s right WordPress, I called it a paragraph. You don’t control me! I’m my own person!
The Mind of Joshypoo 